guardian
![]() Your typical melancholy drama queen Voicemail
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Welcome to my new year phase. Year of loving yourself. Tell me,why is it so hard for me to embrace who I really am? Am I not worth it? Loads of question without any explanation. Is it because I haven't been honest with myself?
Well
I used to be bulimic.Well self diagnosed technically. I used to binge and then a split second afterward I'm in toilet throwing up everything left in my stomach. I felt like a loser back then. Still a loser now. However I'm kind of happy with where I am right now? Nobody noticed me, nobody really care back then.
Would I still be the same if all of that never happened? Scars on my hands are fading so that's a good thing I guess? Doesn't really feel like going there again. I don't want to be like before. Turning back, my life was a mess. I don't really understand myself back then. Still do until now. But, it's okay.
I don't need to rush. I'm in my own pace right now. I know what I need to do now. At least I thought I do 😂. I'll wait for him. Idk why. Maybe because it makes me feel better about myself? Manipulating myself that I'll be okay if I wait for him maybe eventually I'll get over him. Who knows right? Hey gimme a break a homegirl just had her first heartbreak. On the other hand, I managed to get closer with my housemate so that's a good thing. We'll see where this goes. |